hellataxi

2009-12-15T10:09:00.001-08:00

taxihack

2008-03-25T11:19:00.001-07:00

Piss-Screenn Genius!

2007-08-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

The Great Cab Ride to the Sky

Betty Matas, of cross country cab fame, passed away.

R.I.P.

2007-08-13T17:35:00.000-07:00

checking it twice

Look before leaving.

2007-04-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

west village to west 30's
My cab driver was singing (loudly and with emotion) "Jesus Take the Wheel."

Least we weren't going over any bridges.

2007-04-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

avenue C is for Cool Cherry Chapstick
(a lesson questioned in alphabet city)

CABBIE: why do you do that?

ME: do what?

CABBIE: put on chapstick.

ME: because... it keeps my lips from getting chapped. being dry.

CABBIE: but i do not understand. why are your lips dry?

ME: sometimes just when it's cold out or...

CABBIE: me, my lips are NEVER ever dry. never.
that's why i do not understand.
i see people use this chapppppp stick and it makes no sense to me.

ME: well, um, you're lucky. that's great.

CABBIE: all day i am drinking the water. i think this is why.
do you know how much water i drink in one day?
ask me how much water i drink. go on. ask me.

ME: how much water do you drink?

CABBIE: sometimes 5 glasses of water in one day! and sometimes a glass of juice. and a glass of milk. you see? this is why i do not have dry lips. all people should drink so much as me. and then no one would ever need to use the chappppp stick anymore.

2007-04-04T06:40:00.000-07:00

Design Trust presents Taxi 07. Prototypes, hybrid technology, other stuff about yellow cabs. Read for yourself.

2007-04-03T09:41:00.001-07:00

LES to west 4th --
a serious honker.

2007-03-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

Fare to Remember at IFC

IFC Center celebrates the centennial of the cab with a seven-film series, at noon and midnight weekends in April. Presented in conjunction with Design Trust for Public Space's 'Taxi 07' project.
- Harold Lloyd's SPEEDY: Fri Apr 6, Sat Apr 7, and Sun Apr 8 at noon
- Martin Scorsese's TAXI DRIVER: Fri Apr 6 and Sat Apr 7 at midnight
- Mitchell Leisen's MIDNIGHT: Fri Apr 13, Sat Apr 14, and Sun Apr 15 at noon
- Neil Jordan's MONA LISA: Fri Apr 13 and Sat Apr 14 at midnight
- James Cagney in TAXI!: Fri Apr 20, Sat Apr 21, and Sun Apr 22 at noon
- Phil Karlson's 99 RIVER STREET: Fri Apr 27, Sat Apr 28, and Sun Apr 29 at noon
- Jim Jarmsuch's NIGHT ON EARTH: Fri Apr 27 and Sat Apr 28 at midnight

2007-02-12T16:05:00.001-08:00

Bleecker Street
I finally saw one of those cop cars disguised as a cab. Scary!

2007-01-07T16:11:00.001-08:00

L.E.S. to West Village

The taxi smelled like burnt marshmellows.

2006-12-29T09:34:00.000-08:00

ONE QUESTION TOO MANY - taxi to joe's shanghai (12/19/06)

i generally hate making small talk with cabbies, or really anyone, but out of sheer texas-girl politeness i usually let conversations go on much longer than i'd like.

Q1: how long have you lived in new york?
Q2: do you have a good job?
Q3: do you save money?
Q4: do you have kids?
Q5: but miss, what are you gonna do in the afterlife without no money and without no kids??

2006-12-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

JFK to NYC

last night we came home from JFK in a larger slide-open door taxi with no partition. The driver was a woman. We think she asked us which route we'd like to go, but she spoke in such a low, sweet, dulcet tone reminiscent of Austrian Operetta
Sopranos or Mountain Warbler Ladies we couldn't make out a word she was saying. She then turned on 1010 WINS so loud it blasted out, but then surreptitiously turned it down as a trick so she could eavesdrop on every word we said.

2006-12-17T16:13:00.000-08:00

last night i went to a party in astoria. i justified taking a cab there and back because i wasn't going to spend any money on drinks. $48 lighter, and after having to deal with a car-sick fellow passenger, i think i would've rather bought drinks. another reminder of why i moved away from astoria...

the cabbies were really nice, though. and didn't give me any beef about having to go to astoria.

2006-12-13T19:37:00.000-08:00

last night, aaron alden and i caught a cab from the bowery and bleecker, up to black and white on third and tenth avenue. it cost $3.60 before tip, and took about 37 seconds. i told him, wow, we were closer than we thought, that cab ride only cost like eighty cents on top of the initial fare we shoulda walked. black and white was closed for some reason. so we decided to go down to the annex. we thought, we'll just walk, but it was cold, and we wanted a drink, so after a few blocks aaron said that he'd pay the eighty cents. so we took another cab back downtown. then i took another cab home at like 2:30 alone. it was more than eighty cents. more like ten dollars. but i was drunk, and didn't mind so much. definitely better than the train.

2006-12-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

Karma Cab II

How to put a price on Brooklyn rides.

via dailyscope.com

2006-12-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

Times Square to West Village

My cab driver repeatedly shouted at other cars, "Get your thumb outta your ass!" and "Stop picking your goddamned nose!"

2006-12-08T11:01:00.000-08:00

in the spring of 2004, after tom's birthday party, dinner, and the BAM screening of "Nothing Lasts Forever", i hopped a cab back to astoria, where i was living at the time. even though i instructed the cabbie the best i could, i wasn't really sure how to get there by car, he ended up getting lost. so the fare was an insane amount, and i told him i wasn't paying that full amount, it was his fault for getting lost. and i had just enough money to pay the usual fare. it usually cost about 15 dollars from the city to my place, so i figured it shouldn't be much more than that from brooklyn, where we just took the BQE. after about 5 minutes of arguing which increased in intensity, i threw him a 20, leapt from the cab, and ran to the stoop of my house where he followed/ran after me, only stopping at the foot of the stairs, yelling at me as i slammed my front door. i didn't sleep that well that night, and half expected him to still be there the next morning when i awoke for work.

2006-12-07T10:21:00.000-08:00

just took a ride with Johnnie Smallwood (why do they always have the most unfortunate names?), the low-talker. He kept mumbling things, and I would say What I can't hear you? and then he started yelling at me for not hearing him correctly. finally got to my destination after a screaming match with a low-talker...

2006-11-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

West Village to Tribeca

Each time I said something to the cab driver, he would repeat it to me incorrectly. As in a whole other word. I'm used to this, as many of you know. So I would say it again and then he would spell it. Incorrectly. Again, a whole other word. Finally I would spell it and all was fine and we were on our way. This happened, no joke, back and forth for almost ten minutes.

2006-10-31T14:01:00.000-08:00

Close Call

Well, I don't think I'll be rockin' the granny chic cardigan again. The oversized belt got caught in the door as I got out. Luckily the cab didn't immediately drive away.

Scary Halloween indeed.

2006-10-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

West Village to parking garage, 31st St.

The taxi driver answered each of our questions with something kind of, but not really related.

An example:

Us, "Would you mind shutting off the heater please?"
Him, "Yes, it is a beautiful day."

2006-10-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

Sitges, Spain

The streets are so narrow here that in order to turn left, the taxi had to first turn right, back up, jump the curb twice before rejecting the under contruction sidewalk in lieu of finally going around the block.

Cost: 6 euros and 3 disgruntled Catalonians.

2006-10-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

West Village to L.E.S.

The driver was listening to some talk radio program and the topic was teen sex. The host had kids calling in and speaking to how they've abstained and threw in one pregnant teen to scare anybody with doubts. Back to the driver. He apparently agreed wholeheartedly with saving it 'til marriage because he would shout out 'yes!' every few sentences.

The kicker? After the show ended he played some old Naughty by Nature and sang along with all the words.

2006-10-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

what's the best taxi to catch at 5am from williamsburg?
the BRETaxi.

just look for that floppy red hair...

2006-10-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

Oopsy Daisy

2006-09-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

West Village to UES

The driver felt it necessary to honk at every. single. stoplight.

2006-09-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

the short bus

So that you look even more uncool arriving at an event in a cab. ( via gawker)

2006-09-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

W 12th to Broadway

Rancid Ocean Breezes car freshner.

2006-09-11T11:41:00.000-07:00

Hell a Taxi is up and running again for your reading pleasure. And posting, hint hint.

In case you missed it:

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2006
penn station to west village

After sneezing, then wiping the aftermath on the steering wheel, the driver said, "Just can't seem to get over this damn cold. Don't know what the hell it is but I've been feeling like shit."

And you guys wonder why I'm obsessive with the hand sanitizer.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 9:39 PM

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25, 2006
taxi withdrawal

i just realized that i haven't taken a taxi since early morning january 16th, from williamsburg to LES. ????!!!?!!?!!???
POSTED BY JAC O AT 11:04 AM

FRIDAY, JANUARY 20, 2006
jfk to west village

My driver wore a porkpie hat but no seatbelt.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 11:51 AM

FRIDAY, JANUARY 13, 2006
the magic of peabo

As we pulled up to JFK, the song playing on Smooth FM was, "If Ever You're In My Arms Again." When I got into the car at LAX, what do you think was playing? Well, it wasn't that song, but "If Ever..." did come on next.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 12:50 PM

MONDAY, JANUARY 09, 2006
les to west village, 2am the other night

A long block from my apartment, the cab driver stopped the car and hit the meter.
Me: "Please take me to Hudson, I don't live here."
Him: "I don't care."

Sensing he didn't, I got out and walked.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 3:26 PM

TUESDAY, JANUARY 03, 2006
karma across the pond

Our "current" favorite channel turned me on to a story from London about karma cabs.

A memorable ride om.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 9:14 PM

SUNDAY, JANUARY 01, 2006
a happy new year taxi story

on new year's eve day, i took a taxi home after some last minute whole foods shopping in union square. the driver was quiet the whole time, no small talk or questions or warnings about not having change for a 20. nothing at all. until we stopped in front of my house and i handed him money for the cab fare. and that's when he decided to tell me this story: "last week, a cabbie got in a car accident and then the cab caught on fire. it was very very bad. it was in mahattan, you didn't hear about it? he tried to get out, but he couldn't. and no one came to help him, so he just burned to death slowly." then he handed me back my change and finished with a hearty, "ok, bye! have a happy new year!"
POSTED BY JAC O AT 7:46 PM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2005
my taxi driver last night was a woman!

i think.
POSTED BY JAC O AT 4:14 PM

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2005
jesus!

Happy to have been away during the strike, I offer this from you can't make it up, a really bad trip.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 12:12 AM

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2005
if it quacks like a taxi...

yesterday i took one of those weird extra long taxis. you know the kind that swerves in and out of traffic, barely missing bike messengers and old ladies. and makes so many herky stops and jerky starts that you need to lay down by the time you get where you're going. and that expects you to have exact change. and has a driver that tries to pick you up after he picks you up? except it wasn't yellow and there were people i didn't know in there with me. hmmm. i think i heard this one guy call it a "bus."
POSTED BY JAC O AT 2:48 PM

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2005
santa monica to west hollywood

I missed the photo op, but use your imagination. BEWARE OF DOG sign posted to the partition.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 11:37 PM

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 06, 2005
big pimpin'

Thought I'd lost this one. Mr. Cab Driver was very proud of the designation.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 7:32 PM

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 02, 2005
farmer's market, "the grove" back to west hollywood, @ 4:45 pm

The driver informed me, "Honestly, I have not slept in 36 hours. It is too much." I buckled my seatbelt. Then he observes the car in front of us and asks, "Who is driving?" Panic mounting, "It is a ghost. I pull over."

Not only in New York, kids. It's not only in New York.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 7:10 PM

west hollywood to farmer's market, "the grove" @ 11:30am
I was subjected to 30 minutes of non-stop, commercial free disco. The driver had a Barbara Streisand keychain.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 7:09 PM

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2005
the magic flute

about a year ago i took a cab very late at night into brooklyn from manhattan. a very friendly rasta man with fat dread locks picked me up. he was laid back and had a huge toothy smile (which would normally annoy me, but it just seemed so genuine coming from him.) he drove me through manhattan and over the williamsburg bridge, the whole time playing some crazy psychadelic flute dub on the stereo. i had a really trancendental experience slipping in and out of conciousness looking out over the city. the music getting more and more intense, the flute getting really trippy and jazzy. we finally pulled up to my house, and as i handed money forward, the track on the stereo faded out... except for the flute. the cab driver laid his instrument in his lap and begin going through his fanny pack for change.
yes... my cab driver had been playing the flute along with the track the entire ride. i don't know how he drove, i don't know how i survived, but as i got out of the cab, he handed me my change and, with narrow red slits of eyes and a thousand teeth in his head, he said "yeah, man. smile. it's all about the smiles, friend!" then, right before he pulled away, i swear to god, he yelled "irie."
POSTED BY CRABBY74 AT 12:23 PM

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2005
the importance of good taxi karma

on sunday night i took a cab to avenue B and 13th and my fare came to $4.60. i handed the cab driver a 10 and a 1 and asked for an even 5 in return. he said, "but miss, you just handed me a fifty."
POSTED BY JAC O AT 7:23 PM

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2005
hell, an undercover taxi

i passed one my way back from the deli the other night. i didn't notice anything strange at all, as he was sort of swerving down the road just like any other taxi cab... and then all of a sudden boom. the lights went on, the sirens went on, and he peeled out straight through a red stoplight. reaffirming my theory that the only people who drive worse than taxi cab drivers are cops.
POSTED BY JAC O AT 12:09 PM

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2005
liquor is quicker

Jacque said she wanted to get a cab on 8th Avenue. I hailed a taxi, she meant a Sauvignon. We drove silently with it between us.
POSTED BY TOM AT 8:47 PM

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2005
west village to union square, last night

"It is not of my fault where it smells as bad food."

- Hassain
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 10:54 AM

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2005
I no longer ride...

I no longer ride in taxis. I have sold my soul and live in car country now, Los Angeles California. I do recall with my last NY cab ride though...

It was a magical moment. It was early in the morning And I was very hungover, maybe even still drunk as I hailed the cab. I slid into the backseat and asked to be driven to the airport. The driver, surprisingly a recent immigrant from south Asia, popped in a CD for us to listen to. And oh joy, what did I hear but the bold beautiful tones from the intro to Europe's hit "The Final Countdown". You know, Do Do Doot Do, Do Do Doot Do Do... A very special and dramatic way to leave NY after 11 years. Thank-you and good night.
POSTED BY SELLOUT AT 7:44 PM

seeing stars

we went straight from seeing 'stars', at north six, into a story about 'starship troopers', both the book and the movie. upon entering the cab, we (jac, jac, and myself) found a book in the back seat, and he demanded that we tell him what we found, i'm sure he wanted to see it in case it was something worth keeping. after showing him what we found, he began telling us about how he liked sci-fi books, and somehow ended up talking about 'starship troopers', all the way across the williamsburg bridge. luckily i got out right after we got across the bridge. jac and jac continued on...
POSTED BY NICK AT 6:18 PM

lower east to the far west, 6pm yesterday

two words: smooth jazz
POSTED BY JAC O AT 6:00 PM

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2005
mid-town to west village, 3:30 pm

Oh joy. My cab driver decided to hit the gas in time with the music. Not as bad as the time I was offered a free massage with my fare, but nauseating nonetheless.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 8:09 PM

where to begin?

I could begin this blog with horrific cab rides of days gone by. An early morning smash-up in Beijing. Strange noises coming from the trunk in Austin. But I'll let them go, as it seems lately I've been hearing of and experiencing more and more flat out shitty taxi experiences here in NYC. So please, feel free to share. I doubt anything will come from this bitching, but at least our friends won't have to listen to it anymore.
POSTED BY JACQUE AT 8:08 PM